On the way to lunch yesterday I saw an interesting sign at the entrance to a subdivision. It simply said...Speed Humps. I have heard of "speed bumps" in the past, but speed humps made me think I was supposed to have sex really fast.
As you no doubt know by now, I can't stop at just one random thought. No, my random thoughts are like Lay's potato chips, I can't have just one! And admittedly, I had help this time since I was riding in the car with 2 other guys. So we moved through the Black Eyed Peas and my lovely speed humps to the concept of speed titties.
I hereby propose to rename speed bumps to speed titties. Among the many benefits of this name change (well, OK, it being funny is really the only benefit), this leads to a measuring system that doesn't exist today. As you know, some speed bumps are larger than others. If you're like me, you may go over a large bump and call it a speed mountain instead of a speed bump. But you usually don't find out how big the bump is until you're over it. By applying cup sizes to warning signs, you'll have an idea how big a speed titty is. That speed mountain becomes a "DD", while the small ones that you still drive 40 mph over become "A".
No comments:
Post a Comment